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zackisontumblr:

i bet rhinos cant talk because they would make too many jokes about being horny

(via yourmamaslikeavacuumcleaner)

spookyjacob:

ur not allowed to be busy youre my only friend

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stabs:

it’s kind of weird knowing that when you sleep, you’re just looking at your eyelids but somewhere in your brain, you are able to produce dreams as if you’re still awake.  

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portablemiah:

American History textbooks more like

Chapter 1: Introduction to White People
Chapter 2: White Settlers and The Indian Savages
Chapter 3: Whitey Makes A Country
Chapter 4: The Blacks
Chapter 5: Wars, Wars, Wars
Chapter 6: No More Racism!: Martin Luther King Jr. Gives a Speech
Chapter 7: The Modern Whites

(via yourmamaslikeavacuumcleaner)

dirudo:

Teacher : So what did you bring for show and tell today

Me :

image

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marlborodiamonds:

sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star

(Source: halcyondiamonds, via yourmamaslikeavacuumcleaner)

videohall:

Testing the Reflexes of Seven Kittens

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disaffecting:

someone give me a tutorial on how to talk to the boy

(via yourmamaslikeavacuumcleaner)

jaceheromdale:

it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish

(Source: siriusblaack, via yourmamaslikeavacuumcleaner)

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